Meetings: Personas to Avoid, And What to Do Instead

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7 Meeting Personas You Encounter

Sometimes, the best way to learn what to do is to understand what not to do. Here are 7 meeting personas we all encounter:

1. The wallflower

Questions be damned. These folks prefer to listen and absorb than speak up. They hold their words and opinions close to their chest. Getting the wallflower to talk is not for the feint of heart. Sometimes, you forget they were there.

2. The talker

Quite the opposite. There’s no question if they were in the meeting. There’s mainly question if the meeting goal was accomplished. The talker loves the sound of their voice. All their points are wise - to them. And you get to hear them.

3. The dissenter

Sure to disagree. The dissenter gets joy from being the devil’s advocate. The team may have a path - but they’re ready to object. Big or small, they point out the flaws. It’s argumentative pride.

4. The interrupter

Etiquette to the wind. There’s always a point in the conversation for the interruptor. They don’t just consider their point important. It’s important enough to cut you off. They have a vision of where the meeting should go, and they take it there.

5. The curmudgeon

Smiling be damned. The curmudgeon is burnt by the environment, the situation. They don’t have a smile or a head nod to share. They might have a risk or problem to bring up. But enthusiastic agreement is not their way.

6. The monologuer

Concision to the wind. The monoglouer discovers insightful points while they are talking. So they continue on. 2 minutes become 5. And then you start looking at an interruptor (#4). Thank goodness for those interruptors.

7. The happy go lucky

Just always smiling. The happy go lucky are almost as hard to read as the dissenter (#3). They seem to show agreement in every meeting. It’s only later that we find out what they didn’t agree with. Conflict is hard for them.

Of course, these are just caricatures: fun to think about in a meeting’s more dull moments. Here’s what to do instead.

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Zoom Communication Mastery

People judge your leveling and seniority in large part by your meeting performance. Especially in “thinking” jobs like PM. In our remote/ hybrid world, this makes zoom presence one of the most important skills. While I’m not the world’s foremost authority, here’s how I think about it.

There’s 3 levels to Zoom communication mastery:

(1) Effective
(2) Influential
(3) With Gravitas

(3) is tough - but possible. This is how:

• Guide the Meeting
• Ask about Alignment
• Listen Presently with Intent
• Speak Concisely with Confidence
• Jump Out of the Box

• Guide the Meeting

There’s this incredibly delicate balance of not interrupting (often) but still guiding the meeting. You need to set a scope for the meeting that is achievable - and then drive to it. Driving to an outcome is hard when time is ticking down.

Sometimes, you may even need to very kindly end a topic or interrupt someone. The grace and strategic nature with which you do so separates the top 10% from the top 1%. You need to be able to guide conversations through the tough topics and to resolution.

• Ask About Alignment

One of the easiest mistakes over Zoom is to assume everyone has more alignment than they do. The most effective technique to remedy this error in judgment is to ask. “Since we’re coming up on time, I wanted to ask: how aligned are we here?”

This is one of the most underused but effective techniques to drive self-awareness of alignment. Look for straight answers and even ask focus to quantify on a 1-10 scale. “James, where are you 1-10 on this plan?” This helps you uncover and discuss unsaid cons.

• Listen Presently with Intent

As much as possible, avoid multi-tasking. Listen with as much as presence as you can. Do this with intent: the speaker should be able to see you listening.

Taking notes - physical or digital - is a great tool here. If they can see you adding notes to the doc or writing by hand, they know you’re listening. It makes you an active participant, even when someone else is talking.

• Speak Concisely with Confidence

Dominating the meeting is the anti-pattern. Instead, focus your communication on concise, well formed thoughts. Concision is rare and immediately stands out.

• Jump Out of the Box

Finally, and perhaps most powerfully, use the power of constraint. It’s every artist’s best friend. Literally become larger than the four square zoom box. Use volume and gesticulation to land a memorable point.

The idea is to “break the frame.” You want to do something sufficiently outside how everyone else is speaking. Being memorable brings emphasis to your points. You are the one who everyone remembers a week later.

At least, this is what has worked well for me.

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Finally, many of you have personally reached out to me to recommend I pursue the creator life. I am considering it. To help me understand the market, help me out with this poll: